10 Common Myths About Therapy

Therapy is often seen as a mysterious thing for those who haven't seen a therapist themselves. Oftentimes, people may imagine it like this:

Which is kind of outdated, to say the least.

People might also have certain preconceptions not just about what therapy is or what it looks like, but also about what types of people go to therapy and what therapy is for.

In this article, I will examine ten misconceptions about therapy and why they're wrong.

This is not true. Although therapists can help those diagnosed with a mental illness, they are also there to talk to people who don't have any particular mental health struggles but need someone to talk to. Therapy can help someone adjust to big life changes, manage stress, gain a better understanding of themselves, or increase self-esteem.

There's no such thing as "self-therapy." You can journal all you want, write down all your problems, and read as many self-help books as you can, but the problem is that our brains are not wired to be truly objective when it comes to ourselves. There are so many different cognitive biases that we intrinsically fall prey to. This means that often, we're not aware of what our real issues are, how to realistically solve them, or what we're doing that isn't helpful. Also, especially if we're struggling, it is hard to be honest with ourselves. That's why therapy can help give us a broader and more complete understanding of our lives - something that is hard to do alone.

Sometimes, people who have never been to therapy just imagine every psychologist in the world to be a replica of Freud. Because most psychologists today are quite questioning of Freud's ideas, it's not very common for therapists anymore to practice psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy (which is what Freud is renowned for developing), which would require you to lay down on a bed and talk about your dreams and every thought that pops into your head. Therapy nowadays is often much different - it's like sitting in a living room on couches across from one another.

Once again, this is another myth that probably stems from Freud's work. Although some therapists may ask for contextual information surrounding your past or childhood, good therapists won't a) force you to talk about it and b) will not blame any of your current problems on that, either. Boundaries are an extremely important thing in therapy, and therefore, you will never feel coerced or forced to talk about anything uncomfortable to you.

Unfortunately, your mind isn't so plastic that just two sessions will magically fix everything and make you a whole different person (as well, "fixing" people isn't the goal of therapy; more on that maybe in another article). Additionally, therapy is not a passive process - it requires the client to enact change in their life and actively participate in the experience. Also, some people might have some resistance to therapy at first or might not want to talk about specific problems until they build up trust with their therapist. This is normal but means it might take longer than two sessions to get to the "root" of things.

Sometimes, therapy sessions might be difficult and bring up some hard emotions. Especially if you talk about something that is close to you or is difficult to discuss, the feelings after a therapy session might be of relief, but it could also be a combination of feeling overwhelmed or in some pain. This is usually normal, but a good therapist will help guide you through it and make you feel more comfortable with the discomfort.

It's common for people, even those who might be deeply struggling, to have imposter syndrome when it comes to therapy. They might think, "my problems are not serious enough to talk to a therapist," or "my therapist will probably think I'm a joke since all their other clients probably have it way harder." The reality is there's no "minimum" for how much you have to be struggling before you go to therapy. There are so many different reasons to talk to a professional, and they're used to talking to all kinds of people with all kinds of different lives. If you feel like talking to a therapist could be useful for you, that's really the only guideline you need regarding whether you should do it or not.

Unfortunately (and fortunately) it doesn't work this way. Therapists must maintain professional boundaries with their clients. Friendship can skew professional guidelines, as well as actively violate the ethical guidelines that therapists must abide by! Friendship works much differently, and therapists need to remain objective and non-judgmental in their practice. Plus, it's not really healthy to be paying somebody just to be your friend. Additionally, good therapists will want you to get better and eventually improve, not continue seeing them forever, which might be their goal if they do become close friends with you.

If therapists believed that going to therapy themselves would make them bad therapists, then that would be a major red flag! It would be like a doctor who doesn't believe in getting a checkup. Therapists want to be able to be their best selves so they're able to provide the best services to their clients, so talking about their issues is more helpful for their clients than them not seeking or believing in therapy. Additionally, as I discussed before, it's not really that beneficial to rely on yourself for therapy. Even if you're a trained psychologist, you're still not going to be able to give yourself quality therapy. Many therapists will still see a therapist themselves, even though some people believe this is a red flag.

Going to therapy is becoming more and more normalized and common. Although people may be judgmental about the idea of going to therapy - especially depending on people's different backgrounds, ideologies, or cultures - I believe that over time, it will become more and more normalized and celebrated to seek professional counselling. People who are judgmental about therapy might have certain preconceptions about what therapy is and who it is for. If you know anyone who has certain opinions about therapy, maybe send them this article and see what they think!

What are some other misconceptions about therapy? Do you have any preconceptions or beliefs about therapists or those who go to therapy? Let me know in the comments below!