10 Reasons to Cry More Often

As Ivan Coyote once said, "I want us to see crying as being inextricably linked to living, like exhaling is to the act of breathing."

Have you ever heard of rui-katsu, or "crying clubs" that are frequent in Japan? I recently read this article about how many Japanese people believe so strongly in the health benefits of crying that they have introduced places in certain cities where you can "cry communally." They sit there and watch sad movies until they begin to tear up.

I wish we had crying clubs here in North America. It's a shame that despite so much research and evidence that crying is so good for you, both physically and emotionally, many people don't give themselves the time and space to cry once in a while.

One of my favourite quotes I have ever read is from the book Care Of by Ivan Coyote. They perfectly sum up the idea that crying doesn't have to be a "political" act - like men allowing themselves to cry has to be seen as a sign of strength or counter-cultural. Crying needs to be viewed simply as a normal and necessary physiological response:

“If there is one wrong thing in this world that I could undo right now, it could be to undo away all the shame we have been taught to feel whenever we cry. It is not as simple as teaching ourselves to not see crying as weak or as feminine. I don’t want to teach that crying is a show of strength either. I want us to see tears as a simple byproduct of thinking or feeling or listening or speaking to the world around us. I want us to see crying as being inextricably linked to living, like exhaling is to the act of breathing. I think one of the most valuable things this culture steals from our men is their tears.”

- Care Of by Ivan Coyote

So here are my 10 reasons why you should start crying more often.

When we put effort into keeping our tears inside, it expends energy that could be used to process what is making us tearful. When we cry, we allow ourselves to "react" to something painful, which is the first step to begin processing or understanding the event that triggered our pain.

A lot of people may cry when they are angry or upset. They report thinking more clearly after (or while) crying. When you're in a "reactive" emotional state, it can be very hard to maturely communicate your feelings, understand your thoughts, or make sense of the world. When and after crying, we can move to a more contemplative and introspective mode of thinking, which aids conversation and self-understanding.

Studies have shown that emotional tears contain more stress hormones than basal tears (lubricating tears) or reflex tears (tears that form when we get something in our eyes). Therefore, emotional tears help flush excess stress hormones out of our bodies, which may be why many people report feeling more relaxed after crying and experiencing reduced pain.

According to studies, repressing ourselves emotionally is linked with a poorer immune system, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and mental health conditions including stress, anxiety, and depression.

Stephen Sideroff, ph.D., a clinical psychologist at UCLA and direct of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics, says, "Letting down one's guard and one's defenses and [crying] is a very positive, healthy thing... that process of opening into yourself... it's like a lock and key."

When we cry, we realize how deeply we care about something, and we allow ourselves to express that openly. Sometimes our bodies will react physically to something that we aren't reacting to with our minds.

Many people think that the mechanism of crying always starts with a trigger (something that makes us sad, upset, etc.) and then leads to the emotion (sadness, anger, relief, etc.) leading to crying.

But the trigger could be unconscious, which then leads us to cry without being able to identify what emotion we're feeling. Eventually, after we're able to cry and process what is making us feel so strongly, it will lead us to understand what we care about.

Crying is a form of "release". When we hold onto our tears, we may also be holding onto the reasons for our tears. If we are coping with a breakup or something traumatic, holding onto these tears can make it harder to let go and heal from our wounds.

Since crying when we need to cry is a truly genuine expression of our emotions, it can allow us to be honest with those around us about how we are truly feeling. Holding back our tears and pretending everything is okay can indirectly create barriers within relationships and friendships - you are preventing others from understanding you more deeply.

Crying is known to help lead to a more positive mood, as it helps increase oxytocin and helps with blood detoxification (by removing stress hormones through the tears). It also has an "opioid" effect, as crying can help increase one's threshold for pain. But most importantly, many people report the subjective feeling after crying and explain how "good" it feels. This is because crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for "rest and relaxation" and can help us recover from stressful or emotional events.

Grief is a natural response to loss, and crying is usually a vital part of the healing process. When we cry, we can work through the emotions and move toward acceptance.

Crying is necessary as it helps to prevent emotional overload. When we repress a bunch of emotions, there are often indirect consequences. Although we might seem fine, we might feel more stressed, have difficulty concentrating, and feel more irritable. Crying allows us to release that build-up of stress and tension, which can help us maintain a healthier emotional balance.

Crying has been shown to increase attachment behaviour, which means that when we cry, it encourages closeness, empathy, and support from friends and family. We are biologically wired to see someone we care about crying and feel empathy for them. When we cry in front of loved ones, it often induces supportive and protective responses.

Take the anonymous poll below and let me know how much you cry!