A foolproof way to create beautiful connections with your friends and romantic partners.
Type One: The Perfectionist
Ask them for their advice or their opinions on important matters. Ones love when their ideas are taken seriously. When it comes to important topics and life decisions, Ones will feel extremely valued if you ask them what they think.
Be the breath of fresh air that balances out their serious side. Ones are so purpose-driven and hard-working that they sometimes forget to relax. Help them have some fun by planning out different activities that make them happy. But don't be too playful and poke fun at their extreme dedication to their principles, or they might get upset.
Be punctual. Show your commitment and care for them by being there when you say you will be. Ones want someone who is as true to their word as they are.
Show appreciation for their high standards and ethics. And make sure you are aware of what their standards are so you can meet them! Ones won't just settle for anyone, so if you're trying to make one fall in love with you, be prepared to get your life together.
Respect their need for order and structure. Don't make fun of them for not being able to go with the flow.
Show empathy for their inner critic. Ones will often get caught up in self-criticism; give them lots of reassurance and support, and remind them of how amazing they are.
Share your own values. Ones are very value-driven, and will appreciate knowing what your personal code of ethics are. They like people who are very morally-grounded, so try not to be too unethical.
Type Two: The Helper
Acknowledge their natural generosity and kindness. Twos are usually among the first to offer a hand to those around them, so make sure you give them a pat on the back. They hate feeling unappreciated or being taken for granted.
Listen attentively to their concerns and emotions. Twos sometimes will push their own needs aside for those around them. If they open up to you about their feelings, make sure you give your full attention to them!
Put their hobbies and interests first once in a while! They usually like to go along with activities that other people like to make them happy. Prioritize some of their hobbies and leisure activities; they will love it.
Actively ask them what their needs are. Twos are so used to taking care of others that sometimes, all they want is permission to voice their needs. At the same time, they fear that doing so will hurt their partner and no one will love them anymore. Create an emotionally safe space for them, which will allow them to share what they’re feeling.
Actively help and support them. Twos won't usually speak up when they need help, so even if you say, "I'm here if you need me," they sometimes won't reach out. Doing something for them without them even having to ask makes them extremely happy.
Be open to receiving their care. Twos feel gratified when they get to help those around them. So allow yourself to be vulnerable with them and open up and express your needs. They love to rise to the occasion. Just remember point one, and don't take them for granted!
Express your affection for them. Words of validation go a long way for them. Be intentional and express your gratitude for them regularly.
Respect their boundaries. Twos can have a hard time saying no, so if they do, make sure you respect it.
Encourage them to stand up for themselves and prioritize their own needs first to make sure they avoid getting burnt out. You can't help other people if you feel exhausted and empty, but Twos will sometimes do just that. Pay attention to their needs and health because they sometimes forget to do that. Remind them to take some time for themselves and relax a little bit.
Type Three: The Achiever
Acknowledge their personal traits. Threes are suckers for flattery, and they are used to others going off about their accomplishments and drive for success. If you simply are like everyone else and compliment them on what they have achieved, you'll be forgettable. So try to praise them for their internal traits rather than external achievements.
Respect their time and commitment to their objectives. Threes will sometimes be workaholics, and they want you to be able to accept that.
Be hardworking yourself. One of the biggest turn-offs for Threes is someone who doesn't have their life together themselves. Make sure you have ambition before you try to seduce them, or you will be going nowhere.
Impress them with your accomplishments, but don't be competitive. If Threes feel like you are trying to compete with them, they will view you as an enemy rather than a potential lover. Show them that you're ambitious and successful, but don't do it in a way that is threatening.
Encourage work-life balance and relaxation. Threes will sometimes get so caught up in their to-do lists and passions that they forget to take a break. Be there for them and plan activities that help them relax a bit.
Focus on the practical aspects of your relationship. Threes can have a romantic side, but it takes a while for them to open up to that. Try to avoid being too flowery, cheesy, or future-oriented at the start. Talk about the more practical aspects of being in a relationship with them and let them know what dating you could offer.
Type Four: The Romantic
Allow them to be melodramatic and miserable sometimes. The last thing a Four needs is for you to dismiss or trivialize their emotions. Fours can have a lot of mood swings so they need someone who understands that and is patient with them.
Respect their need for authenticity. Fours will be themselves no matter what, whether you like it or not. If they feel that you're critical or judgmental, they'll usually just not give you the time of day. They'd rather be alone than be around someone that compromises their need to truly express who they are.
Respect their need for space and solitutude. Fours sometimes will need time alone to express themselves and be introspective. Especially after a significant experience, they want to be able to sit alone with their thoughts and contemplate. Be used to them needing time alone and respect it.
Engage in deep, meaningful conversations. Fours aren't the type for superficial conversations. They loathe small talk. If you're taking a Four on a date, consider starting a conversation about something meaningful, like goals and aspirations, childhood memories, their favourite life lessons, or their values.
Share your own feelings and emotions authentically. Fours need someone who understands the importance of being open and real about feelings. They want someone who can at least attempt to be as authentic as they are.
Be non-judgmental when talking about other people. If Fours feel like you judge other people for expressing themselves, they might feel like you don't respect their authenticity either, which would be a big turn-off for them.
Celebrate their originality and artistic talents. Fours love people who understand art and creative pursuits the way they do. The last thing they need is someone to look at something they made and say "I just don't get it." Fours care less about whether something they created is "good" or not, and more about whether it is truly an authentic expression of their soul. Even if you don't completely understand their methods of self-expression, ask lots of questions about their creations and try to understand their meaning. Plus provide lots of encouragement!
Type Five: The Analyst
Ask them questions about various topics. Fives are intellectuals who enjoy learning about the world. They will spend their free-time researching and learning about all sorts of things. They love people who are interested in what they're interested in, so if you ask them questions and are curious, they will love you.
Be intellectually engaging yourself. Fives love when people can challenge them intellectually, make them think, or teach them something new. They love finding new ways of understanding the world. So share your personal knowledge and they will be deeply intrigued by you. Fives are classic sapiosexuals, meaning the main thing they are attracted to is intelligence.
Avoid excessive emotional demands. Information, ideas, and knowledge come easily to a Five. Emotions can be a little bit trickier. They are one of the types that might find the emotional demands of dating to be a little hard to navigate, to try to be understanding. Respect their need for privacy and don't demand too much lovey-dovey stuff from them, because they're usually too practical for that kind of stuff.
Value their independence. Fives are pretty self-sufficient, and they need lots of time for their own interests (e.g. self-educating on every topic they're interested in).
Allow them to set the pace. Yeah, Fives are easy to scare off, because the sad thing is, you can read every book on the planet but nothing will give you the practical skills of how to act in a relationship. So Fives might be a little bit overwhelmed if you come off too strong. Give them lots of time and space to figure things out for themselves - they'll eventually come around.
Type Six: The Loyalist
Be reliable and consistent. Sixes are loyal - they're called the Loyalists for a reason. Therefore if they take a liking to you, you best be sure that you aren't playing around with their hearts.
Provide lots of reassurance. Sixes can get anxious or self-doubting if they don't think you're there for them. If you can make them feel truly safe inside a relationship, they will fall deeply in love with you.
Give them a safe space to talk about their concerns. If you downplay their fears or tell them to "just don't worry about it" they will feel unseen and uncared for. Take their anxieties seriously and be open to discussing them.
Avoid surprises. Type Sixes usually like situations to be predictable. So along with being consistent in your actions, don't try to plan them any crazy surprises - it might make them uncomfortable.
Be patient with their need for validation. Sixes need lots of words of affirmation, so provide it to them. Don't invalidate their opinions or thoughts - it will make them super insecure.
Respect their need for planning. Sixes like knowing what's happening ahead of time. So don't try being too spur-of-the-moment with them, and give them lots of guidance of what to expect in different scenarios. For instance if you invite them to a party, let them know exactly what to expect there and what people will be attending, along with what time they can expect to be at the party till.
Type Seven: The Enthusiast
Embrace their enthusiasm. When Sevens get excited about something, they want you to be excited, too. Sevens love someone who can share their enthusiasm about the world.
Talk about your passions. Sevens love listening to someone talking about their passions, even if they might not have the same one. Whatever it is you care about, share it with a Seven - it will energize them and make them excited about life.
Tell them your bucket list. What are some things you want to experience before you die? This will open up a great conversation where they will likely try to make plans with you to accomplish different things on your bucket list.
Plan out spontaneous new experiences and adventures. Sevens love novelty and excitement. If you can take them on a journey, they will love you forever.
Encourage them to embrace their more serious side. Sevens usually feel like they must be doing new things or staying stimulated to avoid facing negative emotions. If you can get them comfortable enough to share their vulnerable side, it means a lot.
Show interest in their creative endeavours. A lot of Sevens love creating things, whether it be through sharing new ideas, creating art, or some other outlet. Ask them what they have been making or thinking about lately, and they will be amazed.
Embrace your playful side. Sevens love being goofy, so if you can return the same energy, they will love it.
Don't tell them what to do! Sevens need to feel like even inside a committed relationship they have freedom. If you try controlling them, they will not like that at all.
Type Eight: The Dominant
Don't be afraid of conflict. Eights appreciate people who are straightforward and honest, not people who shy from butting heads with those around them.
Stand up for yourself. If you come across as a doormat, Type Eights will not respect you.
Avoid being passive-aggressive or manipulative. Type Eights will catch on super fast. Since they are super straightforward and direct, they will not appreciate this sort of behaviour.
Respect their independence. Eights are not the type to form codependent bonds with the people around them. They are the leader of the wolf pack and they intend to stay that way.
Do not try to control them! Eights hate people telling them what to do. Don't try to coerce them or boss them around. If they say "no" to something, do NOT try to debate it. They are very direct in their word and hate the idea of people trying to manipulate them.
Offer loyalty and commitment. Eights do not like people who play around. Be upfront and stick to your word.
Allow them to protect you and care for you. Eights like being able to protect people. They want to be your personal coach. They offer great motivation and will always be on your side. They will love you if they can tell you appreciate their leadership capabilities.
Type Nine: The Peacemaker
Avoid unnecessary conflict. Nines hate fighting, nit-picking, debating. Their whole persona is why can't we all just be peaceful? If they feel like you're picking fights just for the fun of it, they will be super turned off.
If there is necessary conflict, be open to negotiation, encourage them to share their real opinions, and remain calm. If you raise your voice, shut a Nine down, or fail to see their side of things, Nines will feel unsafe around you and like you don't care about them. Nines are the peacemakers and they love hearing from everyone's point of view. So give them the same courtesy and listen to what they have to say in an open, non-judgmental way. Any sort of conflict needs to be done in a loving and understanding manner.
Encourage them to express their opinions. Nines will sometimes hold back their true thoughts or opinions in fear of creating conflict. Make sure you encourage them to open up, and when they do share their opinions and thoughts, validate them and show appreciation for what they have to say.
Encourage open communication. Nines need a safe space in order to openly express their real thoughts and feelings. Ensure you are non-judgmental while communicating and listen attentively. Nines can be really sensitive to rejection.
Don't push them to be go-go-go all the time. Nines need some downtime and relaxation - the perfect date for them is one that makes them feel safe, peaceful, and cared for.
Show gratitude for their peacemaking abilities. Nines are hippies at heart who value love and peace. They hate people who invalidate this or make them feel like their approach to life is wrong. Tell them how important their approach to life is and show gratitude for how accepting they are of the world around them.
What's your Enneagram Type? And would the strategies above work to win you over? Do you disagree with anything written above? Let me know in the comments below!
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