A handy guide that will show you what they are looking for in a relationship, and what you can do to make them like you.
Previously on my blog, I wrote articles such as "Why You Are Loved, Based on Your Myers Briggs Type" and "How to Tell If They Like You, Based on Their Personality Type".
But now it is time for my readers to put love into their own hands, and master the art of seduction, so to speak. In this article I will illustrate how to make someone fall for you using techniques engineered for them based on their Myers Briggs personality type.
First and foremost, if you don't know your crush's type yet, send them the test and attain their result.
Then scroll down and discover what will make them fall for you...
INTJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who wants to have deep discussions.
Someone who is willing to explore new ideas and theories.
Someone who seeks personal growth as much as they do.
Someone who wants to be intellectually stimulated.
Someone who can be emotionally straightforward and not play mind-games.
Someone who is extremely honest.
Someone who appreciates their advice.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Let them tell you about their interests, and show you what they're currently working on.
Make them feel interesting; be genuinely fascinated with what they show you (they will know if you are faking interest!)
Present them with odd, out-of-the-box ideas.
Get into a debate or argument with them.
If they are struggling with an important problem, come up with a brilliant insight.
Show interest in intellectual pursuits.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Mind games or manipulation
Being small-minded
Being incapable of comprehending them
Being shallow
Dwelling on small-talk excessively
Surprising them unexpectedly
Acting clueless
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Reading and researching new subjects.
Sarcasm.
Figuring out logical solutions to problems.
Tending to a garden.
Wandering nature.
Recreational activities like kayaking, fishing, sports, or table tennis.
Book clubs.
INTP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is intelligent and insightful.
Someone who is willing to explore new ideas.
Someone who is more sensually bold and emotionally intimate than they are.
Someone who grants them independence.
Someone who is attentive.
Someone who appreciates their ingenuity.
Someone who is open about how they're feeling and doesn't expect them to just immediately know.
Someone who likes to think outside the box.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Be clear and upfront about liking them - they appreciate honesty and tact.
Make sure to wait for the right moment to express interest. INTPs rarely give second chances.
Essentially, take initiative, over and over and over again, until maybe they notice you and your existence.
Ask them lots of questions about their centre of interest.
Be patient when they're thinking of a response to question.
Become comfortable with silence; it is not a sign of disinterest.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Being too emotionally reactive
Trying to make them conform to a rigid structure or set of expectations
Being dishonest
Being unaware of your own behaviour
Being needy
Being narrow-minded
Overwhelming them with text messages early in the friendship or relationship
Not being able to discuss abstract or theoretical matters
Being pushy or overbearing
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Going to concerts.
Playing video games.
Exploring new activities before they are popular or well-known.
Exploring ideas.
Watching TED talks.
Going to the library.
Explaining how things work.
ENTJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who balances nicely with their personality.
Someone who makes them feel like they are in control.
Someone who is focused and strong like themselves.
Someone who is positive and enthusiastic, and enjoys realizing the potential all around them.
Someone who trusts that they know what they're doing.
Someone who is hardworking and sticks to their commitments.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Let them go off and rant to you about their life. They love talking about the future and new ideas.
Be emotionally supportive, but don't treat them like a baby. They know what they are capable of, and don't need you to tell them what to do.
Tell them that a relationship with you is low-risk, but will give them great benefits.
Be strong-willed and sure of yourself - but don't be more strong-willed than they are.
Keep them on their toes with snappy comebacks.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Laziness
Complaining
Being emotionally overreactive
Retreating when there is a challenge
Being overdramatic
Being obsessed with silly drama
Small-talk
Texting excessively about mundane things
Being emotionally needy or clingy
Complaining
Being disinterested in personal growth or hard work
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Planning world domination.
Thinking and planning for the future.
Intellectual topics of conversation.
Playing strategy games.
Doing something recreational and challenging.
ENTP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who will question the status quo with them.
Someone who will explore the potential of hundreds of possibilities.
Someone who can handle a good debate.
Someone who is willing to take some risks and push some limits.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Share inside jokes with them and engage in their wit. ENTPs love to banter.
Be physically affectionate with them.
Disagree with them. Get into playful debates with them.
Challenge their logic and (playfully) point out some of their odd quirks.
Help them manage things that they struggle with, such as cleaning up and organizing.
Laugh at their jokes.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Trying to do things "by the book"
Stifling their innovative thinking
Being uptight
Not having a sense of humour
Being hypersensitive
Being too detail-oriented (and missing the bigger picture)
Giving them the silent treatment
Trying to make them conform to your traditions
Being ignorant
Being incapable of opening your mind to new experiences
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Multitasking.
Playing strategy games.
Practicing new skills together.
Going to a comedy club together.
Putting together a puzzle and talking.
Playing a video game together.
Hypothesizing about possibilities.
Debating theories.
INFJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Somebody who has vision
Somebody who is curious about the future
Somebody who listens to their wisdom and insights
Someone who takes time to understand them and doesn't jump to conclusions
Someone who joins them in their efforts
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Acknowledge their wisdom.
Ask them for advice, and tell them you value their opinion.
Lend them a book that you enjoyed. Write notes in the margins.
Tell them that you want them to help you to figure yourself out.
Be a bit mysterious, yet warm and humorous.
Introduce them to new and original experiences.
Be willing to engage them in deep discussions.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Pressuring them to focus entirely on the moment; they enjoy daydreaming
Dismissing their insights
Being arrogant
Treating others poorly
Acting pretentious
Being narrow-minded or quick to judge
Being too loud or showy
Being short-tempered or moody
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Stimulating activities, like video games, puzzles, and movies.
Learning.
Researching things they are interested in.
Discussing favourite books and movies.
Playing "The Question Game" and asking each other thought-provoking questions.
Going to a bookstore together.
Gardening.
Baking.
Birdwatching.
INFP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is introspective and self-aware
Someone who challenges them and keeps them on their toes
Someone who gives them plenty of quiet time to pursue their own creative interests.
Someone who can share ideas and alternate perspectives with them.
Someone who can listen to their deepest thoughts and feelings.
Someone who is open-minded.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Act slightly mysterious and guarded. INFPs will have a riot trying to figure you out and discover all your secrets.
Read their writing or look at their art, and relate it to your own life and feelings.
Be open about your emotions.
Sing them a song, or write them a letter.
They will appreciate constructive criticism, but being uptight or judgmental will cause them to lose interest.
Give them space when necessary.
Take off your "social mask" - express your honest thoughts and feelings.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Putting down their opinions or ideas
Being too pushy, nosy, or inquisitive
Labeling them or making assumptions
Manipulating them or having ulterior motives
Making quick judgments about other people
Limiting their imagination
Being superficial or being overly interested in materialistic things
Being close-minded and not open to hearing different perspectives
Being controlling or possessive of them
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Reading and learning about things that interest them.
Listening to favourite songs together.
Daydreaming.
Solitary walks.
Making art together.
Talking about your favourite books in detail.
Watching each other's favourite movies.
Volunteering for a cause together.
Music and concerts.
Going to thrift stores.
Long, in-depth conversations.
Relaxing sports like yoga or hiking.
ENFJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is empathetic.
Someone who inspires them to achieve their goals.
Someone who allows them to express their emotions freely.
Someone who wants to make a difference in the world.
Someone who cares about others.
Someone who is willing to work hard.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Listen to their stories and laugh at their jokes.
If you agree with their opinion, tell them so.
Allow them to be the centre of attention.
If you are a photographer, ask them to model for you.
Act like a stereotypical bad boy/girl, but show glimpses of deep emotion.
Make them feel comfortable expressing their true selves, without worrying about being judged.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Stifling their deep feelings
Having no ambition or vision for the future
Instigating conflict situations
Misinterpreting their friendliness as phoniness
Being unappreciative or inconsiderate
Using them for their kindness
Being judgmental
Being secretive
Being unable to see things from others' perspectives
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Group dates.
Outdoor activities, like hikes and picnics.
Watching movies and discussing why it was meaningful to them.
Dancing.
Discussing religion, psychology, or ethics.
Helping out or volunteering.
Concerts.
Making inspiration boards or mapping out goals together.
ENFP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who will see them as a visionary.
Someone who is willing to explore many different possibilities.
Someone who will discuss the nature of reality with them.
Someone who will inspire them and give encouragement for their dreams.
Someone who can listen to their values.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Provide them with experiences - music festivals, movies, late night adventures. ENFPs love to have fun.
While listening to music, sing loudly with them to their favourite songs.
Flirt with them and then act unattainable - ENFPs like a challenge.
ENFPs love to flirt, so make sure you flirt lots.
Allow them to lead you, and teach you new things.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Being controlling or managing their time for them
Being too nosey
Shutting down their ideas
Being unwilling to experiment
Being too critical
Being manipulative
Trying to force them to agree with you
Being closed-minded or judgmental
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Reading a new book together.
Listening to each other's favourite songs.
Taking a class together.
Sharing bucket list ideas.
Going thrift store shopping.
Exploring; driving somewhere they've never been before.
Becoming experts on different subjects.
Making art, or doing things that spark creativity.
Chatting about their favourite topics.
Brainstorming.
ISTJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is dedicated to them and takes commitments seriously.
Someone who understands the importance of hard work.
Someone who is honest.
Someone who will make plans with them and stick to them.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Ask them to help you with your homework, or get them to teach you a practical skill (such as music theory, learning to drive stick, or whatever it is they're good at)
Tell them you are grateful for their intelligence.
Be bubbly and caring, which will help to warm their hearts. Simultaneously be a little scattered and confused - that way they will be driven to help you.
Respect them and the way they do things, even if it is different than how you function.
Acknowledge and appreciate their diligence.
Follow through on your word.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Pushing them to socialize.
Trying to make them discuss their feelings before they are ready to.
Talking down to them.
Showing up late to hang out with them.
Being wishy-washy.
Being too emotionally overreactive - try to discuss things calmly.
Being flighty or unreliable.
Acting silly or clueless.
THINGS THEY ENJOY:
Watching TV.
Going to a comedy show.
Enjoying a quiet dinner.
Nostalgic activities.
Going geocaching.
Sophisticated coats.
Having a picnic and watching the sunrise.
Spending time in nature.
Discussing their favourite books and movies.
Spending time with pets.
Used books.
ISFJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is as generous and devoted as they are.
Someone who shares their values and cares about other people.
Someone who will truly listen to them.
Someone who is honest and consistent.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Gain approval from their friends and family, and those whose opinions they trust.
Act self-sufficient, but allow them to catch glimpses that show you need to be taken care of. They want to nurture someone.
Be grateful for, and enjoy, the things that they do for you.
Listen to them. They can be private but if you allow them space to express themselves, they can reveal a lot of different interests and passions.
If you say you will do something, make sure you do it.
Show them that you are loyal to them.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Pushing them to socialize too much
Disrespecting their values
Putting down other people
Yelling or hostility
Being too quite/reserved
Asking deeply personal questions too quickly
Belittling their interests
Being late
Being too loud, showy, or attention-seeking
Being irresponsible
Calling them "too sensitive" or dismissing their feelings
Lacking proper manners
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Watching movies.
Going to Farmer's Markets.
Taking a class together.
Low-key sensory activities like gardening, hiking, baking, or bird watching.
Nature.
Listening to their favourite music.
Discussing their favourite things with others.
Anything that makes them feel comfortable and relaxed.
ESTJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who shares their values and structured approach to life.
Someone who is as determined as they are.
Someone who they can trust.
Someone who is a true friend.
Someone who is authentic.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Send them good morning/good night texts.
Compliment them on their physical appearance.
Let them rant and ramble about their interests.
Tell them that their opinions are correct.
Have excellent hygiene.
Give them lots of attention.
Cater to their ego.
Share their dry sense of humour and sarcasm.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Disrespecting rules.
Being unwilling to socialize or go out with their friends and family members.
Being messy or sloppy
Being hypersensitive
Dishonesty or manipulation
Being lazy
Procrastinating
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Coaching or mentoring people.
Watching TV.
Telling stories.
Watching sports events.
Going to good restaurants.
Working on tasks.
Going to movies.
Competitive activities.
ESFJ
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who is very supportive.
Someone who can plan fun activities with them.
Someone who can be a "best friend".
Someone who is committed and will make it clear that they are in it for the long haul.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Buy them flowers; present it to them publicly.
Be smart, but don't be intellectually arrogant; academic jargon will get you nowhere.
Help others, and be a good team player.
Don't criticize or nag.
Be dependable and create a routine with them.
Find out what traditions or routines are special to them.
Celebrations are important to them, so help them to make it special.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Belittling their emotions and feelings
Being wishy-washy
Being secretive or withholding
Being late or disrespecting their time
Disrupting their plans
Taking them for granted
Being lazy or undependable
Being cold or insensitive
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Laughing, and making other people laugh.
Conversation over a meal or coffee.
Texting and being asked questions about their day.
Playing a social tabletop game, like Apples to Apples.
Meaningful routines and celebrations.
Cooking.
Camping or having a bonfire together.
Sharing practical tips and solutions to everyday problems.
Watching their favourite TV shows.
Watching other people have fun.
ISTP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Real friendship and trust.
Someone who understands that their need for space doesn't mean they don't care, but they just require alone time.
Someone who accepts their independence.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Match their level of nonchalance.
See them regularly, but always respect their need for space from time-to-time.
Don't try to push their buttons or talk to them the wrong way.
Take time to understand them and take an interest in their interests.
See things from a realistic perspective.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Trying to make them conform to your lifestyle
Being passive-aggressive
Being controlling
Being hypersensitive
Having no sense of humour
Being clingy
Lacking confidence
Lacking interest in knowledge or learning
Scheduling their time for them
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Activities that involve using their hands.
Going to the beach or hiking.
Playing cards and making conversation.
Sports and things that give them an adrenaline rush.
Playing video games.
Breaking rules.
ISFP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who will appreciate their gentle nature and creativity.
Someone who will truly listen and try to understand their emotions and values.
Someone who won't stifle them or try to conform them to something.
Someone who will allow them space and alone time.
Someone who doesn't expect them to always be "on", and is comfortable in silence.
Someone who allows them to be their true, authentic selves.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Tell them you admire their art and their creative spirit.
Point out any positive or cute quirks that they have.
Discuss art with them.
Tell them when a song reminds you of them.
Be adventurous and playful.
Make sure to give them space to sort out their feelings about you.
Do kind things for them and others; ISFP love things that restore their faith in humanity.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Talking down to them
Making them feel caged in
Being cruel
Being dishonest
Being pushy
Micro-managing them
Being negative or pessimistic
Being disinterested in their feelings
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Nature.
Driving beneath the stars.
Doing a creative project.
Playing tourist in their hometown.
Having a spa night.
Swimming.
Hiking.
Painting.
Drawing.
Listening to music (and maybe even making their own music).
ESTP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who can keep up with their adventurous ways.
Someone who doesn't cage them in.
Someone who won't try to force them into commitment right away.
Someone who believes in them, encourages them, and admires their abilities.
Someone who can truly let go and enjoy life.
Someone who can see the bright side.
Someone who is open to new experiences.
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Take them to do a fun and risky activity. Like jumping out of a plane, or surfing, or paragliding, or bungee jumping.
Feed their ego a lil. Act impressed by everything they do.
Have a positive, can-do attitude.
Don't be a party pooper or rain on their parade; even if you don't feel like participating in an activity with them, be an involved cheerleader.
Be loyal to them, and get on board with what they are excited about.
Have high energy around them.
Know how to laugh about life.
Show appreciation for their perspective.
Be willing to be spontaneous.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Trying to control them
Pressuring them to make long-term decisions quickly
Taking yourself (or life) too seriously
Giving them the silent treatment
Being unwilling to try new things
Being too sedentary
Being self-righteous
Being dull or uninteresting
Being too readily available to them all of the time
Being too predictable
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Hiking.
Biking.
Exciting reading materials (thrillers or horror novels especially!)
Videogames.
Dancing.
Driving around and listening to music.
Amusement parks.
Being challenged.
Swapping jokes.
Going to old-fashioned arcades.
ESFP
WHAT THEY WANT FROM A PARTNER:
Someone who can join them in experiencing all the world has to offer.
Someone who appreciates their enthusiasm.
Someone who doesn't mistake their zest for life as "flightiness".
TECHNIQUES YOU CAN USE:
Bring them to a party and laugh at their jokes.
Give them your attention, but don't always expect them to return that attention.
They are very free spirited, so don't let jealousy tarnish the relationship.
Look good. ESFPs may not admit it, but looks matter a lot to them.
Hang around them for a while, and make it clear you're available.
The more time you spend around them, the better.
Keep them company - don't leave them hanging.
Be as codependent as they are.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Being dishonest, manipulative, or controlling
Taking life too seriously
Being aloof or ignoring them
Attempting to take their spotlight
Expecting them to make commitments to things quickly
Being unwilling to try new things
Being critical or harsh
Being quick to judge
Being boring
THINGS THAT THEY ENJOY:
Being the centre of attention.
Going to the beach.
Being around other people.
Attending concerts.
Going on last-minute trips to somewhere new and exciting.
Volunteering.
Trying new things, like going to a new restaurant, or watching a new show.
Trying new, unusual restaurants.
Having movie marathons.
Rock climbing.
Dancing.
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