On Writing, Publicly

I'm slightly nervous as I'm writing this. It's not that a blog is equivalent to screaming in front of a crowd (something that actually once was my dream, seeing as I wanted to be a rockstar in Grade 9). But even if no one reads this, the thought that someone could is somewhat mind bending to me.

You see, I've kept a diary for 5 years. Written in it every night without fail. I now have over fifty of them, all filled up, collected in my closet. It's been my highest form of self-expression: something that's been my place to fully express myself without fear or filter.

When you have a blog, it's a little different: most of the time, you write so people will read it. If you don't, then what's the point? I'll argue that perhaps a blog can be like a second diary, except slightly more filtered, but with some added benefits like technological additions e.g. videos or photo slideshows. I guess I have to preserve the notion that I'm writing this for me, and not for anyone else, or I will get stuck on the logistics of this thing. I don't think creativity can really flourish if you're constantly thinking about the audience.

One of my favourite quotes is from the lead singer of one of my longtime favourite bands, Matt Bellamy. He once said in an interview, "I stopped worrying what other people thought, that's when everything started to work." He wasn't wrong. If he had written songs for to please everyone, then half of his albums would have been scrapped before they were released. But hey, they're some of my favourites, so who cares.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I'm not gonna write this to impress anyone, I'm not gonna write this to make anyone thing I'm better or smarter or cooler, I'm going to do everything my power to not fall into that trap. Whether a trillion people read this or zero, I'm going to make it my choice to express myself just the same, regardless. And that is my promise to myself.

So if you're expecting something incredibly polished or extraordinarily intelligent, don't get your hopes up too high. But if you want something that's a little bit everywhere, I've gotcha there.

LOVE

Sophie