How to use your love language to create a routine that fills you with joy.
What's your love language? Do you feel most cared for when someone gives you a meaningful compliment? Or would you prefer a hug or a backrub? Or maybe you feel most filled-up with love when someone does something for you, an annoying task you procrastinate on?
Whatever your love language is, it's important to remember that it doesn't only apply to how you most want others to love you - it can also be used to suggest how you should love yourself.
Caring for ourselves and our own needs is never selfish. If we feel empty inside, it is harder for us to love those around us. Therefore, taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being is an act that will not only reward you but also the people around you!
Take the official Love Languages test here, and then use those results to figure out how best to take care of yourself.
IF YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH:
Pamper yourself physically. You feel best after a long shower or bath, washing your hair, applying a face mask, and massaging your body with lotion. You could develop a skincare routine that involves giving yourself a face massage or stretching and rubbing your shoulders. You also could take a hot bath.
Wrap your arms around yourself. Hug yourself. Sometimes even this simple act can fill you with a sense of inner contentment.
Buy a foam roller and give your body a massage. Or give yourself a body massage with a foam roller. Take time out every day to truly "feel" self-love.
Every day, do something that makes your body feel good physically. Dancing, walking, yoga, stretching. Focus on your physical wellbeing. Do it not only to feel and be healthy but also because you love yourself.
IF YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:
Create self-affirmations. Whether or not you're used to saying kind things to yourself, turn it into a ritual. I know it's cheesy and cliché to say kind things to yourself in a mirror, but this could make a huge (and often subconscious) difference in your emotional health.
Write letters to yourself. Write love letters to yourself, reminding yourself of your achievements, good qualities, and things you're proud of. Be meaningful and honest.
Train your brain to notice when you're speaking poorly toward yourself. Create a persona for that hostile, evil critic in your brain, and learn to externalize it and view it not as your concept of yourself but as a separate, harmful loser of a voice that has no power over you.
IF YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS QUALITY TIME:
Start a journal. Or a personal podcast (record yourself speaking on your voice memos app) or a blog/vlog. Anywhere where you can spend time with your thoughts and your mind. Learn to explore yourself, and put value into your ideas and opinions.
Spend time with yourself through meditation. Learn to be mindful of how you are currently feeling. For you, it is particularly damaging to be constantly overstimulated or distracted. It indirectly tells you that your mind, ideas, and thoughts are not fascinating or noteworthy, which can increase feelings of self-loathing. Don't ignore yourself like that! Be grounded, mindful, and present in your own body.
Be intentional with how you spend your time. Before you scroll on your phone, ask yourself if you actually want to or if you want to distract yourself. Regardless of how you want to spend your time, do what brings you absolute pleasure and stay present.
Take yourself on a date. If you've never "dated yourself" before, now is your chance. Spending time in your own company is an action that tells yourself, I like myself, and my own company.
IF YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS ACTS OF SERVICE:
Accomplish small "goals" for yourself every day. You feel best about yourself after you've accomplished or done something for yourself. Remember, this doesn't have to be big, and a ritual you can create is waking up in the morning and writing down at least one thing you want to do. Accomplish that one thing and allow yourself to feel proud.
Have compassion for your future self. View them as an externalized person you want to care for. Please do whatever you can in the present moment to make their life easier. This can be anything: avoiding procrastinating on something you want to get done, going for a walk, or going to bed earlier.
Avoid procrastinating. Procrastinating indirectly tells yourself, my future self doesn't matter. They can deal with this.
IF YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS GIFTS...
Treat yourself to something small daily. Treating yourself to gifts can be very small and inexpensive. Sometimes it can cost nothing, like if you craft something meaningful for you to put up on your wall or redesign your clothing. It can even mean baking something for yourself, creating a bracelet, or painting. You could also sign up for a monthly gift subscription box service (e.g. ScentBird for perfume or OwlCrate for books) to surprise yourself monthly and fill your heart with love.
Be mindful of how you spend money. When you choose to buy yourself things, do it with intention - buy only what you love. And make sure you budget in a way that allows you the freedom to treat yourself occasionally.
Take extra care of your space and your personal belongings. Make your home and your room a reflection of joy. Find a way to display the belongings that matter most to you. Organize your belongings. Keep your space a reminder of love.
What's your love language, and what are you going to start doing to show your commitment and love for yourself? Let me know below.
Comments