An overview of the first Enneagram type known as the Perfectionist. Part of my new Intro to the Enneagram series.
Some of us have come to terms with the fact that we will never be perfect. For Type Ones, however, the idea of “perfection” is attainable but seemingly out of reach. They have an inner sense of what is “right” and “wrong”; an internal judge vigilante that lives in their head. A Type One’s goal is to be the epitome of “good” and virtuous.
Type Ones are practical, action-driven people who want to create the best in the world and themselves. Most Type Ones feel they have some “mission” they want to accomplish within their lifetime.
Type Ones tend to fear criticism from others. They don’t want people to question their choices. This fear explains why they are as perfectionistic as they are. Type Ones believe that if they put a lot of thought and intention behind their choices, they will become resistant to criticism. They, therefore, hold themselves to an extremely high standard and often ponder the consequences of their various actions. They have extreme self-control and will deny any natural, instinctual drives they have. They can be very rigid in their ways.
All of this can result in Type Ones having many issues with repression, denial, and resistance. Emotions, especially negative ones, are often messy and hard to control. Ones will push down the anger and resentment they feel because it seems to go against their desire to be “good.” They are afraid of some of the things they might say or do if they let their emotions grow to overpower them. This resistance makes it difficult for Ones to handle their anger healthily and may cause them to grow resentful of the people around them.
And Type Ones are prone to resentment because they hold other people to a very high standard. Type Ones are often accused of being judgmental because they always seem to question the choices and decisions of the people around them. They expect their friends and family to be as certain and purposeful in their choices as they are and are almost always left feeling jaded as others consistently disappoint them.
But no matter how hard Type Ones are on the people around them, they are always ten times harder on themselves. The more critical Type Ones become towards themselves, the more they start displacing and projecting these insecurities onto the people around them.
Type Ones struggle with understanding that there is no such thing as an objectively “good” decision. The judge that lies in their head makes it feel like there are only “right” things and “wrong” things, but the truth is, the world is not so black and white.
Signs You’re an Enneagram Type 1
You repress your anger.
You have high standards you feel you must live up to.
You like viewing things logically and refrain from making decisions based on emotions alone.
Being called “evil” or “bad” is deeply insulting to you.
You think you’re usually right about things.
You are very goal-oriented.
You rarely lose control of your emotions.
People sometimes tell you that you can be condescending.
Rules and expectations matter to you.
Your muscles are often very tense/rigid from repressing your anger.
Being “silly” or “spontaneous” often makes you feel as though you are out of control.
You hold everyone to the same standard so no one can accuse you of being hypocritical or unfair.
Getting approval from others is very important to you, even if you don’t always show it.
You are committed and stay true to your promises.
You need to be told that you’re doing a good job.
The voice inside your head usually takes the role of a critic, or a judge.
You are sensitive to criticism from others.
You are deeply compassionate towards other people when feeling emotionally healthy.
You are detail-oriented and tend to have a very organized world.
As a Child…
In childhood, Ones typically were the "responsible" ones of the family. They were praised for their maturity and seemingly "grew up fast." Their desire to be righteous and not cause problems for their relatives caused them to develop a moral system to differentiate between "right" and "wrong." Rather than testing the limits of what was considered "good" behaviour, Ones figured out what was morally responsible and then held themselves to that standard. They rarely needed to be told what to do; Ones were typically not prone to being troublemakers as children. Their innate sense of what was right guided them.
Healthy Versus Unhealthy
At their best, Ones are ethical and reliable people. They are the perfect people to rely on when looking for the truth. Idealistic and goal-oriented, they are action-driven to turn the world into a better place. They are very wise and seem to have an innate understanding of how the world works.
At their worst, ones can be very judgmental of others and themselves. They are inflexible and don't leave much room in their lives for spontaneity. They may be critical of the world around them and can be "overly serious." They're often prone to jealousy and anxiety, especially within their relationships.
In a Relationship
Types Ones don’t get into relationships with just anyone. Since they have such high standards, they also have high standards for their partner. If they decide to settle down, they are very caring and committed partners and are highly dedicated. They are not prone to infidelity because they are not very impulsive and rarely make selfish decisions.
One of their biggest struggles is with criticism. They have very high expectations for their partner and may be prone to nit-picking their partner for not being to their standard.
They also struggle with jealousy. Ones take threats to their relationship personally because it tells them that they are not perfect enough—“If I were better, there wouldn’t be any contest.”
In a relationship, Ones need reassurance but often feel too guilty to ask for it. They also find that some of the tension and worry inside themselves diffuse when someone gently teases them for their ways. They need a dependable partner who also allows them to become spontaneous and learn to “enjoy” pleasure (rather than feel guilty for it).
When Stressed/Integrated
When stressed, Ones take on the characteristics of Type 4 (The Romanticist). They move from their usual disciplined ways to being more resentful, alienated and envious. They tend to become involved in fantasies and daydreams and can become very moody or withdrawn. They may become more self-indulgent and allow themselves to experience previously denied pleasures. However, when they do this, it results in them feeling even more guilty and anxious.
When integrated and healthy, Ones take on the characteristics of Type 7 (The Enthusiast). They begin to let their guard down and become more spontaneous. They become less opinionated and allow themselves to experience things before judging. Curiosity and openness about other people's worldviews will enable them to view people's perspectives outside the dichotomy of "right" or "wrong." They approach new experiences with joy and enthusiasm.
Famous Type Ones
Meryl Streep
Emma Watson
Mahatma Gandhi
Steve Jobs
Michelle Obama
Nelson Mandela
Carl Sagan
Confucius
Batman
Harrison Ford
Judge Judy
Mary Poppins
Enneagram Type One Quotes
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“We shall never have friends, if we expect to find them without fault." — Thomas Fuller
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” — St. Augustine
“So the pie isn’t perfect? Cut it into wedges. Stay in control, and never panic.” — Martha Stewart
“Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” —Pope John Paul II
Common Jobs for Type Ones
Lawyers
Politicians
Judges
Social Workers
Journalists
Guidance Counselors
Doctors/Nurses
Surveyors
Detectives
Police Officers
Editors
People's Thoughts On Type Ones
"They're so thoughtful and dependable. They're always ready to lend a hand."
"Type ones are so nurturing and thoughtful about their actions. They make me feel wanted and heard."
"They're a voice of reason that is needed in every room."
"Ones are easy to talk to and very competent. They help the people around them stay on track with their lives."
"You always know when a One cares about you, because they are very passionate and dedicated people. They are very open and honest within their relationships which makes communication easy."
"Ones are always trying to enact good in the world and in themselves. They are truly selfless."
"Ones care about the process and being accurate. They're so detail-oriented which makes them excellent workers."
Advice/Tips
Stop identifying yourself with the judge in your head. This critic is your superego, and it is not you. Start viewing it as an "it" and pay attention to how it affects your view of yourself and the people around you.
Treat yourself like a friend. Be nicer to yourself, especially when it comes to making mistakes.
Look at other people with acceptance and curiosity. Notice when you judge other people and question what makes you so sure that your opinion is the correct one. The more you can look at the outside world with understanding and compassion, the easier it is to have that mindset towards yourself, too.
Allow others to see when you are upset or troubled. Being open about your vulnerabilities will not cause you to lose your integrity or value. People will respect you more. Doing this will also allow other people to help you, which relates to my next tip.
You don't have to fix everything yourself. Let others help. Even though it seems like you are the most responsible and dedicated person on the planet, and putting things into anyone else's hands might result in chaos, remember that letting everything fall onto your shoulders only results in you becoming stressed and exhausted.
Don't focus on what you can teach other people. Focus on what you can learn from them. You tend to pick up on other people's flaws quickly and can sometimes view others as charity cases. You may feel it's your job to teach them how to live life properly. However, have you ever stopped to think that perhaps you have something to learn rather than them? View your conversations and interactions with people as learning opportunities to enhance your perspective on life.
A Music Playlist For Type Ones
Do you relate to being an Enneagram Type One? Let me know in the comments below. Love you guys!
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