An overview of the third Enneagram type known as the Achiever. Part of my Intro to the Enneagram series.
Also Known As:
The Role Models
The Performer
The Producer
The Go-Getter
The Executive
The Winner
The Motivator
The Communicators
The Status Seekers
"The Best"
At their core, Type 3s want to feel worthwhile, accepted, and desirable, and for them, they believe that to achieve this, they must come across as conventionally successful. A lot of their self-worth comes from knowing that others believe that they are doing well for themelves, and look up to them. Their biggest fear is that others will believe that they are worthless and have no value apart from their achievements. Ironically, however, they often only value themselves for that same thing.
Their life can sometimes feel like a performance or even a competition. They want to be the best at whatever they do (and will, therefore, avoid failure in whatever way they can). It's challenging for them to take down this "mask" of perfection and be their "authentic" selves; they're constantly shifting themselves to fit into whatever situation they're in and can lose sight of who they are underneath it all.
Unlike other types, their drive for success doesn't come for a desire for money to buy cool things or vacations (like Type 7s), or even for power (like Type 8s). Rather, they are trying to escape feelings of emptiness and worthleness. Without attention or feelings of accomplishment, Type 3s worry that underneath it all, they have no value at all.
Signs You're An Enneagram Type 3
You put a lot of emphasis on your performance/productivity.
You enjoy staying busy.
You are aware of how well your friends and coworkers are doing and often find yourself comparing and ranking them in your head.
When you're feeling insecure, you may come across as aloof or cool.
You often make to-do lists and schedules for your free time.
You want people to recognize and respect what you do rather than who you are deep down.
You have a need to be first and are highly competititve. However, you often only compete when you know you will win because you like to avoid failure.
You're a social chameleon and often find yourself unable to express your genuine feelings when you're trying to fulfill a role.
You go full force until you get the job done.
You often confuse your real identity and your job identity.
You often overestimate your own abilities.
You can't understand people who get bored - you always have your hands full.
You're not really interested in talking a lot about your personal life.
It's very important to you to present yourself well and make an excellent first impression.
It is often difficult for you to get in touch with your feelings.
You try not to less illness stop you from doing anything.
Main Values of an Enneagram Type 3
Accomplishment
Personal Growth
Admiration
Reputation
Being desired
Hard work
Continuous improvement
Recognition
Prestige
Common Thoughts of an Enneagram Type 3
I'll feel good about myself when I reach this goal.
What's the most efficient way to get this done?
I can't slow down, there's too much to do.
Why doesn't everyone work as hard as I do?
I feel more like myself when I'm productive.
How can I stand out and be the best at this?
I hope I make a good impression.
Positive Adjectives to Describe Them
Optimistic
Visionary
Confident
Industrious
Dynamic
Assertive
Task-oriented
Charming
Capable
Charismatic
Inspiring
Adaptable
Hard-working
Committed
Efficient
Self-propelled
Energetic
Practical
Negative Adjectives to Describe Them
Note: These adjectives should be used only to describe Type Threes exhibiting unhealthy behaviour. This isn't to describe average or healthy Type Threes or make anyone feel bad for being a Three.
Deceptive
Narcissistic
Pretentious
Superficial
Vindictive
Perfectionistic
Overly competitive
Insensitive
Manipulative
Impatient
Status-obsessed
Materialistic
Inauthentic
Approval-Seeking
Overextended
Image-Conscious
Disconnected (from their emotions or true self)
Best Things About Being a Three
Being optimistic and upbeat
Being able to provide for others
Being able to inspire those around them
Being able to set goals and not stop trying till they reach them
The ability to recover quickly from setbacks
Staying informed and knowing what's going on
Being very competent and able to complete tasks efficiently
The ability to motivate others to complete things and thrive as bosses, leaders, and organizers
Being extremely resilient and able to bounce back quickly from setbacks
Worst Things About Being a Three
Easily feeling envious or resentful of those who are more conventionally successful
Fantasizing constantly about how successful they can be
Feeling like they have to project a "perfect image" of themselves to the world
Often being unable to understand what they truly want underneath society's idea of what is conventionally desirable
Feeling overly attached to other people's external validation
Neglecting relationships, self-care, or emotional well-being in favor of productivity
Having to put up with other people's inefficiency
The fear of not being seen as successful
Feeling unable to slow down and relax
Despite success, often experiencing imposter syndrome and feeling like frauds
Always being "on" and feeling exhausted
Likes/Dislikes
LIKES:
Praise & Recognition
Looking put-together
Going to networking events
Earning awards and certifications
Being asked to speak or present publicly
Crafting and curating their personal brand (like their LinkedIn profile)
Luxury or status symbols (liek fancy cars or gadgets)
Hustle culture content
Time-tracking apps
Adapting to challenges
DISLIKES:
Failure
Mediocrity
Wasting their time
Any criticism of their image
Feeling stagnant - like they're not growing or progressing
Any displays of public vulnerability (especially their own. Their worst nightmare would be to have a public breakdown).
Being outshined by others
As a Child...
As children, Threes were not valued solely for themselves but rather for being/doing things really well. Therefore, they were taught to get validation through performance and achievement. However, this was never enough, because at the end of the day, compliments about what we do are superficial and make us feel appreciated for our actions rather than our real selves. Deep down, Threes felt like if they stopped performing, they would lose the love/respect/pride of their parents.
Some Threes were never told explicitly that they need to succeed; rather, the sense of their parents pride or disappointment classically conditioned them. They play of being their parents' pride and joy, and in adulthood, they continue to seek this sort of validation from others.
Famous Type Threes
Elvis Presley
Oprah Winfrey
Michael Jordan
Whitney Houston
George Clooney
Jennifer Lopez
Andy Warhol
David Copperfield
Reese Witherspoon
Serena Williams
Taylor Swift
Sting
Beyoncé
Christiano Ronaldo
Common Jobs for Type Threes
Management/leader positions in business, law, banking, or politics
Broadcasters or performers
Sales representatives
Entrepreneurs
Models
Advertising Executives
Content Creators/Influencers
Consultants
Lawyers
Surgeons
Finance Professionals
Athletes
Real Estate Agents
Event Planners
High-End Sales
People's Thoughts on Type Threes
"Threes can be so nice, dependable, and charismatic."
"They're intimidating sometimes because they always seem to have it all together!"
"They make me feel like I'm capable of greatness."
"They're the type of people to walk into the room and command attention immediately."
"They make success look effortless."
"They are sometimes hard to relate to because they're always trying to come across as perfect. It makes me feel like they're not really rea;/"
"Sometimes they'll humble brag or name drop, but that can be entertaining."
"It can sometimes be hard to tell who they genuinely are."
"Just being around them makes me feel like I should aim harder and try more in life."
"Sometimes I feel like they're always competing, even when no one else is."
"When they're at their best, they're so inspiring and uplifting. But when they get stressed, they come off as a bit fake."
Advice/Tips
Find ways to relax and nurture yourself. Take deep breaths throughout the day, don't be afraid to take time off, and find hobbies that relax you.
Recognize when you're putting on "the mask". Notice when you are becoming the perfect image rather than your authentic self. There's a chance you might even do this when you're alone. Being aware can help you to choose when you want to employ this image (because there might not be anything particularly wrong with it).
Find work that satisfies your deepest needs. Sometimes you'll find yourself in positions you don't truly love but are doing just for external validation. Try to find a balance and seek out areas that make you feel truly fulfilled.
Make sure to prioritize your relationships. It's easy for you to neglect relationships in favor of work. Factor friends and family into your weekly schedule and try to express appreciation to the people you care about.
Find people who you feel you can be real with. Type Threes, when they are able to open up and be "authentic", will do it only with people they feel are truly worthy of it. Find the person who accepts you for exactly who you are and encourages you to "drop the mask" - someone who you can confess your anxieties, vulnerabilities, and issues with.
Positive Things to Say To Yourself (As a Three)
I am valuable regardless of my accomplishments.
I am enough just as I am.
I deserve love and respect simply for being me.
I don't need to prove myself to be enough.
It's okay to prioritize my emotions over productivity.
I measure my worth by my own standards rather than others.
I am allowed to rest without guilt.
I deserve kindness and patience from myself.
I am more than what others think of me.
It's okay to make mistakes - they don't define me.
It's okay to be my true self, even if I'm not perfect.
Taking care of myself is just as important as achieving my goals.
I don't have to wear a mask to be accepted.
I bring value to the world, no matter what role I'm in.
A Music Playlist for Type Three
Do you relate to being an Enneagram Type Three? Let me know in the comments below. And make sure to check out my other Intro to the Enneagram Posts to learn more about each type!
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